Not every relationship goes as planned. Sometimes a hookup turns into a thing and that thing develops into a deep, committed relationship. That’s what happened to me and this is the story of letting a good woman get away.
She’s a Damn Good Woman
She was the first woman in a long time I felt comfortable to be around. Funny, outgoing, and slightly naughty, we spent almost every day together for two whole months.
We met on Tinder and after a few weeks of dating, I decided to delete my account.
“Hey look,” I said and showed her my phone. “We spend so much time together, and it feels good to be with you, so I’m going to delete my Tinder account.”
Excitement bubbled in her eyes.
“What does this mean?”
“I guess, you’re now my girlfriend!”
Whenever my relationships move from something causal to something serious, I need to feel a healthy balance of the 4Cs:
We gotta look good in each other’s eyes and be sexually attractive.
We must establish an emotional connection with healthy attachments to one another.
We need to have shared goals, common values, and know how to have fun with each other.
We have to clearly communicate our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to solve conflicts and build a strong relationship.
Our chemistry was the first thing that got my attention and kept me excited. She was gorgeous. Slim body, cute bum, and exotic eyes. Her hair was jet black and flowed down her entire back, covering the top of her bum.
She owned a bar and we’d spend hours into the night drinking whiskey or beer while laughing at each other’s ridiculousness. Eventually, we started taking small trips together in the countryside. With our cameras in hand, we’d enjoy photoshoots at mountain tops and local gardens.
Even though she a Thai woman, she spoke well with an adorable accent. Communication was never a problem. The only issues we had occurred when she was struggling to find the right words which I could predict and help her learn.
It was all so good, until a few strange things began to float up to the surface.
She’s Just Not Right For Me
The beginning of a new relationship is always exciting. New sights, new smells, new feelings. What could possibly go wrong?
In this relationship, our goals and values were slightly off. There was also the pressure to make decisions that were too soon for this stage of our relationship.
Let me explain.
It’s July 2020 and Thailand has done an amazing job at limiting the impact of the Coronavirus. They quickly locked their borders and called a state of emergency forcing businesses to close for more than a month.
Our relationship flourished just as the lockdown was lifted. Some business weren’t open yet so we had a lot of time to explore and spend time together.
As life slowly returned to normal, I had a decision to make as to whether to stay in Thailand or go to a different country and never return.
It was a decision I didn’t want to think too much about. However, she wanted to know so that she could continue to plan a future together.
“I will follow you,” she always said. “And I don’t care where you go, I just want to be with you.”
I responded with silence, every single time.
Weeks went by and this question continued to surface. It brought her to tears when I couldn’t make a decision about my life and our future.
This had an impact on our relationship. It also led to insecurities flaring out of control. Whenever she would come over, she’d check my drawer and count the condoms. She’d ask about another girl I know, a good friend, and asked if I wanted an open relationship.
There were enough small signals to tell me that I need to get out of this relationship before things continue to get worse.
She’s a Good Woman, But I Gotta Let Her Go
Who’s to blame when a relationship doesn’t work out? Am I fault for not providing an answer to an important question to add stability in our relationship? Were her insecurities revealing her true nature when she’s more committed and attached to a relationship?
I chose not to stick around to find out. Why?
Because I stand by my 4Cs and when they aren’t fully aligned, letting a good woman get away is for the best.
But, I admit, I will always remember the laughter we shared, the places we explored, and the sarcastic way she would say, “Bye!”